A Life SO Ordinary
Thursday, May. 22, 2003
This is a Conversation between my brother John and I. It's about what really happened between our parents ... and whether or not he wanted brownies or cookies for his birthday.. hehe
stew_usmc: u there
stewartchic: yup
stew_usmc: ok good
stewartchic: im a lil tipsy so... sorry if i mess up typing
stew_usmc: i havent been able to check my work emaui
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: ah
stewartchic: i drank a bottle of wine and have a nice buzz
stew_usmc: ohhh why you do that
stewartchic: granma
stewartchic: i just got to tinking about her
stew_usmc: i seee
stewartchic: plus i felt like
stewartchic: so... brownies or cookies
stew_usmc: dont drink to forget things though
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: or what other baked god?
stew_usmc: how many times yall gonna forget my address here
stewartchic: good?
stewartchic: hehehe
stewartchic: sorry
stew_usmc: brownies would be good
stewartchic: ok
stewartchic: how many ppl r in ur shop?
stew_usmc: 30
stewartchic: dang!
stewartchic: are u planning to share with all of them?
stew_usmc: some not all
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: ok
stew_usmc: u want my address then
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: connie and daddy have ur addy, but i keep forgetting to ask for it
stew_usmc: lol
stew_usmc: ok ok
stewartchic: with ur name at the top?
stew_usmc: yes
stewartchic: ok
stew_usmc: john *******
stewartchic: i know ur name!
stew_usmc: lol
stew_usmc: just checking
stewartchic: punk
stewartchic: i graduate on
stewartchic: Friday
stew_usmc: i know congrats
stewartchic: thank ya thank ya
stew_usmc: how goes your job
stewartchic: great
stewartchic: im fixing to switch to part time b/c i start school in the fall... did u know an Army Recruiter tried to recruit me... i actually laughed at him
stew_usmc: lol really when and wehy
stewartchic: for the job or the recruiter?
stew_usmc: recuriter
stewartchic: it was in april, and i told him im not a "military" type, and if i did join it would be for the navy
stew_usmc: lol
stew_usmc: good girl
stewartchic: hehehe
stewartchic: tard
stewartchic: i just like the ocean
stew_usmc: what
stewartchic: just goofing with ya!
stewartchic: i cant wait to start college this fall
stew_usmc: i bet
stew_usmc: i am proud of ya
stewartchic: its going to be so new... i hope
stewartchic: awww....
stew_usmc:
stewartchic: so mom is here
stewartchic: im actually staying with her in her hotel
stew_usmc: ohhh really
stew_usmc: thats how u got the wine huh
stewartchic: at first i was scared, but its ok, yea...
stewartchic: heheh
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: yea im not "legal" yet
stewartchic: but when i am!
stewartchic: oh dear
stewartchic: its gonna be nice
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: so whats new with u? ar yall still on orange alert?
stew_usmc: no
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: ah
stewartchic: im not sure if we are or not
stew_usmc: i dont know i just work
stewartchic: hehehe
stewartchic: whats new?
stew_usmc: nothiong i was about to go eat
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: where? the mess hall
stewartchic: or whatever its calle
stewartchic: called
stew_usmc: its over in the middle of the base
stewartchic: ah so i got the name right? go me!
stewartchic: and what are u guys called? jug heads or jar heads?
stewartchic: i can never rmember!
stew_usmc: lol i know you cant
stewartchic: hush
stewartchic: well which one?
stew_usmc: jar head
stewartchic: well 1 out of 2 aint bad...
stewartchic: mom said hi by the way
stewartchic: do u resent her?
stewartchic: i know how retta feels, but not u
stew_usmc: is she there or something?
stewartchic: no im at home tonight and shes at the hotel
stewartchic: plus this is between u and me... not her
stew_usmc: ok
stewartchic: i wouldnt play games with u like that
stew_usmc: i dont resent her i just dont feel comfortable with her
stewartchic: ur my bro... shes an egg... oh ok
stew_usmc: i remember all that she used to do to us and our father
stewartchic: what she used to do?
stewartchic: cuz she tells me he hit her and told her we werent his kids...
stew_usmc: i dont want to go into it
stew_usmc: yeah she told him that a lot
stewartchic: well tell me cuz im only getting one side and its hers...
stew_usmc: they both were at fault but it was a lot to do with her illness and her refusal to take medication
stewartchic: oh
stewartchic: im so confused
stewartchic: i wanna get to know her, but it hurts me when she tells me that daddy beat her...
stew_usmc: she stopped taking meds and that caused her to go loony
stew_usmc: yeah daddy hit her not really beat but then again she would take weapons at our dad when he wasnt looking
stew_usmc: luike chairs and such
stewartchic: o
stew_usmc: he might have hit her in excess once or twice but then again she hit him with things in the back
stewartchic: yea
stew_usmc: so both were out of control
stewartchic: so it was an "un-healthy" relationship to say the least...
stew_usmc: yes
stew_usmc: and she could have stayed on meds to balance herself out but she would stop and trip out again
stew_usmc: u need to study a lil psychology to understand her mindset
stewartchic: ive looked up her illness, but only to see how it would effect us and our children if we had any
stew_usmc: lol well look up what it does too
stewartchic: k
stewartchic: so do u think u'll ever be comfortable with her
stew_usmc: i dont know bc every time we talk she tries to lay on guilt trips and i havent done anything to deserve that and plus she bad mouths our father and grandma at times
stew_usmc: and they might have been wrong in somethings but they raised us right
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: she and i had that kind of talk... i told her whats in the past is int he past, and that we can have a relationship now... now i understand where ur coming from... i never realized u remembered that kind of stuff
stew_usmc: i remember somethings that make me ill willed towards her and daddy
stew_usmc: and when she wants to try and be civilised in convos ill talk
stew_usmc: but i have my own life and i am working through that
stew_usmc: i dont need to have her try and guilt me into coming to orgen
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: she tried to get me to go to this tech school in OR, but i was having none of it
stew_usmc: lol
stew_usmc: see that is bull shit
stew_usmc: she wants u to change ur whole life for her to see you more often
stew_usmc: she ran out on us
stew_usmc: she could have stayed in texas
stewartchic: she says that daddy wouldnt let her see us and that grandma would let her "sneak" phone calls to us...
stew_usmc: no she would
stew_usmc: not
stew_usmc: grand ma hid all of her letters from us
stew_usmc: she is using grandmas memory to try and get to you
stew_usmc: grandma wantersd nothing to do with her
stew_usmc: and daddy did not want to keep us from her
stew_usmc: he couldnt
stew_usmc: lol
stew_usmc: there was a court order
stew_usmc: i remember the last day she visited
stewartchic: was he with berry then?
stew_usmc: yes and uncle mark was over
stewartchic: and we were around that little playschool table?
stew_usmc: she came over with some guy i think it was one of our uncles
stew_usmc: anyways
stew_usmc: all her bags were packed and they were in the car
stew_usmc: she was only allowed to be with us in the presence of a supervisor bc she had kidnapped me when i was a baby
stewartchic: oh
stew_usmc: so she wanted to take us all to 7 eleven for ice cream and daddy said no bc she wanted to do it alone
stew_usmc: and she got all kinds of pissed
stew_usmc: bc daddy knew if he let her she was gonna fly with us
stewartchic: eek
stewartchic: wel im glad he didnt
stew_usmc: why else would she come over like that
stewartchic: exactly
stew_usmc: and she stormed out of the house and said i hope ur happy bc now i am never gonna see my kids again and she told mark he never has to go through that kind of thing
stew_usmc: so basically she left
stew_usmc: daddy didnt stop anything
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: im sure he was kinda relieved
stew_usmc: well
stew_usmc: he never wanted that
stew_usmc: and do you remember who researched her and found her again
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: of course i do
stewartchic: do ui think he loved her?
stewartchic: u*
stewartchic: ive always wondered that... if he married he b/c she was pregnant with you or if he did kinda love her...
stew_usmc: yes michelle he lovesd her a lot
stew_usmc: and he did marry her bc of me
stew_usmc: but he loved her bc of us
stewartchic: what do u mean?
stew_usmc: if he didnt do u think he would have tried to work it out so long?
stewartchic: yea
stew_usmc: and not break her off after me or lauretta
stew_usmc: he loved her or grew to that bc she gave us to him
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: i see
stewartchic: what ur saying
stewartchic: thank u for telling me this... i needed to know...
stew_usmc: well i am glad to help
stew_usmc: both are equally at fault mishy
stew_usmc: misha
stew_usmc: not just daddy or her
stewartchic: i figured it was something along those lines... but it was biased, and i didnt want to ask daddy b/c... i dont know why, but just b/c
stew_usmc: yeah i know
stewartchic: id figure u'd understand
stew_usmc: i do
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: i wish we could've at least had her around so we would at least know "of" her. or something like that
stew_usmc: no it would have been not wworth it
stewartchic: why do u say that?
stew_usmc: she is not normal and doesnt want to try to get help thats why
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: she scared me the other night when she said something of that nature. about not taking them here
stewartchic: that first night i stayed with her i was afraid to sleep
stew_usmc: yeah i dont feel comfortable around her
stewartchic: to a certain extent i feel the same way, but then i figure shes my mom and i shouldnt feel that way... but the i member that time when u and retta had to hide us 3 from her... is that true, by the way...
stew_usmc: i really cant remember
stew_usmc: i hear that story all the time but i cant recall
stewartchic: yea
stewartchic: u musta been like 4
stew_usmc: i dont know
stewartchic: i hafta get up early so i can get shoes for graduation before work...
stew_usmc: ohh ok well let me let u go then girlie
stew_usmc: i might give u a ring tomoroow
stew_usmc: ok
stew_usmc: what time is it there
stewartchic: love ya and have a good lunch/dinner....
stewartchic: it is 2:46AM
stewartchic: call me aorund 9 AM
stew_usmc: what is the number there i have lost it agian
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: hey!
stewartchic: dont give me any grief then for losing ur addy!
stew_usmc: lol
stewartchic: thanks again... u helped put things in perspective
stew_usmc: ok sweetie
stewartchic: night night
stew_usmc: night
